Chapter 4

Chapter 4

            Pinky takes me home and I invite her in. I tell her that I just broke up with this girl named Sindee. I make like I'm all sad and broken up about it and that's why I got so wasted last night. You can see what I'm up to here: I'm hoping for sympathy sex. Or at least a hand job. It doesn't work.

            Pinky tells me that Garret took the pretend cheerleader girl home last night, so she probably wont be getting any for a while, but that's okay with her. Maybe she should try celibacy for a while.

            That's crazy talk as far as I can tell. There are three things I could not give up even for a while:

1. Sex

2. Liquor

3. Pain

            These are the things I need. Maybe I should list cigarettes, but they seem less important in the overall scheme of things.

            Pinky says she has to go and I ask her for a kiss before she does. She obliges me and it's nice. She has a great tongue and even though she needs to brush her teeth I enjoy the taste of her.

            She pulls back from me and then she's gone.

            I turn on some lesbian porn and jerk off slowly. I try to stretch it out and when I finally shoot hot come all over my belly I go to take a shower. On the way to the bathroom I punch myself in the face a few times hard. I try to keep the blows off to the side so that I don't accidentally break my nose or something.

            Clean. I shave and put on deodorant then head to work. I'm late and Firth catches me as soon as I walk in. He needs to have a talk with me now. Before I clock in. I know what this is: I've been here before.

            I'm not going in his office. He's going to have to do it here.

            What? I get right up in his smug face.

            Let's go to my office. His eyes look nervous. he doesn't want a scene in front of the customers.

            Fuck you. You got something to say, say it here you fat fucking loser. I raise my voice a little.

            Really it would be better if-

            Suck my balls, I cut him off. It feels good. Lick my brown eye you dipshit middle management jack off.

            Okay. Now he's done. Your fired you fucking cocksucker. He bellows it. What he doesn't realize is I'm been elevating my tone just a little. No one has noticed until he shouts. Now everybody in the store is looking at us. Firth is shaking. And me? I’m smiling. This feels good.

            I walk out into the sunlight.

            There was this Greek philosopher named Diogenes. Not the lantern wandering the streets guy, but the real dude that existed. He was a cynic. That didn't mean what it means now. Cynic is greek for dog, and Diogenes thought that men should behave like dogs. Anyway, one day the Philosopher was lying by the side of the road getting a tan when Alexander the great came by leading his army. Alexander had heard of old Diogenes and offered the philosopher anything, if only he would ask. Without a thought, Diogenes said that what he would really like was for Alexander to move and stop blocking the sun.

            Pop quiz: who was the more powerful man in that story?

            I'm not worried about this yet. Sure, I'm unemployed, but I still have another check coming. Plus, there's about eight-hundred bucks in my checking account that I've been saving for this sort of thing. If that runs out I've got the credit cards. There's maybe room for three grand in charges there before they cut me off. All told, if I'm tight, I can live six months on what I've got.

            All that in mind I go to buy a good bottle of scotch.

            I need to get drunk. That's almost always the case. Right now, though, it's imperative that I get absolutely fucking hammered as soon as possible. It'll take about an hour.

            I'm thinking about Sindee, but for some reason she keeps getting pushed aside by Pinky. It's weird. There's this really short red head coming up the sidewalk and I think maybe she's looking at me. She's not bad looking. One of those tiny girls that you can't help picturing picking up and setting on your lap.

            I've got friends who collect comic books or action figures or such. The great thing about collecting women is that you never run out of room in your apartment.

            At the liquor store I pick out a bottle of Oban and put it on my Visa.

            When Quetzalcoatl first showed up I kind of thought that he was an hallucination; maybe some sort of avatar of my guilt and fear. I let go of that when I realized that other people could see him. Eventually I had to give in accept that he really existed.

            Oh well.

            Back home and I pour a triple. I look at the phone for a while thinking who I should call. No one comes to mind, so I collapse on the couch and stare at the wall. I don’t want to turn on the TV. I don’t even want to burn myself. This is a problem.

            They say that when you stop feeling any desire for the things you enjoy that you are close to losing all hope. That’s where suicide comes in. I shouldn’t kill myself; my mom would be very upset if I did. I guess it’s good that someone would. 

            Quetzal flutter/flip/rolls off the bookcase and falls into my lap. I stroke his length softly for a minute, then set him next to me on the couch. He lifts his little snakey head to sniff at the contents of my glass and I hold it at a tilt so that he can have a lick at the amber liquid if he wants.

            He declines the offer.

            I finish the scotch and wonder if this is all there is. I keep thinking that something exciting should happen in my life, but it never does.

           

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            It's later now and I'm on my way to Garret's place. I'm driving and the road is a series of bubbles and waves coursing and shifting between my bleary eyes and muffled breath. There’s vinegar soaked cotton batting stuffed in the crevices of my skull and I think that Maybe I should have quit drinking a little earlier than I did.

            Garret called and said I should come over for dinner. He heard about me getting fired and I guess he feels sorry for me. Anyway. Whatever. I’m almost there and have to concentrate on the road.

            ROAD. Road. road. road. ro-

           

            Shit! I’ve drifted into the wrong lane and headlights are coming right at me. I jerk the wheel, go almost off the road then get it right. Okay, back to concentration. Bear with me a while.

            While we’re waiting here’s a list of things I’ve done that I regret:

1. Everything.

            Okay. Here. I stumbled out of the car and almost fall over; gain my composure then walk up to the door and knock.

            Whoa, dude! You are definitely toasted to the max!

            I really wish that he wouldn’t talk like that right now. He steps aside and lets me pass him into the house. I can’t for the life of me figure out how Garret affords this place on the shit slave wages he makes at DNA. Maybe he’s secretly independently wealthy or something.

            Pinky’s in the living room.

            Oh. 

            I walk toward the spacious living room. This fucker has a big screen TV. Can you believe that? Pinky is lounging in a recliner and reading a thin book.  It looks more like a pamphlet really.

            What ya reading? I’m trying hard not to slur.

            She has to look at the cover to tell me. It’s called Mr. Overby is Falling.

            Any good?

            I don’t know. It’s about this guy whose really unhappy with the world so he starts raping and killing women. Pretty fucked up, really.

            Oh. That doesn’t sound like a bad idea, I guess.

            Pinky laughs. I guess you’re right. You want a drink?

            I better not.

            I guess so.

            I drop on the couch and wait for Garret to tell me that dinner is ready.

            Pinky continues reading for a while, then sets the book aside. I want you to meet some one.

            Who? I hate this. I hate being set up with the friend of a friend. It never goes well.

            Her name’s Helen. She looks a little like Jennifer Aniston, but a little heavier.

            Yeah? You think we’ll hit it off?

            No. She laughs. I think you’ll hate her. She’s dumb and tedious. But she’s hot and slutty. That girl can fuck like you wouldn’t believe.

            How do you know that?

            I fucked her.

            Really? Shit. I didn’t know you were into that.

            I’m not. I was drunk and horny and she offered to get me off and I thought what the hell, it might be fun. I don’t think I’d do it again, though.

            So she’s easy?

            Yeah.

            When can I meet her?

            Tonight. She’s coming over later.

            Cool, I guess.

            Pinky picks her book back up, then Garret walks in and says Time to eat bitches.

            Okay, he’s really outdone himself. It’s frozen pizza and Doritos. Garret tosses me a beer as I pile a few slices on my plate.

            We’re almost done with dinner when Helen shows up. Pinky had described her truthfully. This girl looks like Jennifer Aniston when she was on Friends, but with bigger tits and a tummy.

            There are introductions and she sits next to me. I can see that Garret isn’t happy about this. I think that he had his eye on this girl for himself. Oh well.

            We hang out and drink together. Pinky was right. Helen is stupid. Not just stupid in a regular way, but massively dumb. Everything she says is tedious and boring and I can’t stand her. And she is coming on to me big time.

            Helen wants to go back to my place and I’ve been drinking more. I can’t drive and no one in this room hates me enough to let me try. Helen doesn’t have a car and I’m about to suggest that she can drive up in mine when Pinky chimes in that she can drop us off at my place. I see no reason to object.

            Pinky drives and Helen and I make out in the back seat as we cruise through the city. I could do her right here, but I don’t wanna rush it. I can wait. As drunk as I am I can go all night, I’m pretty sure.

            We're here and Pinky and Helen have to help me inside. They lay me on the bed and I start trying to take my pants off, but I can’t quite manage it. They work together to get me undressed then Pinky goes in the other room and Helen gets on top of me. Fuck. This chick is a serious slut. I’m on the verge of passing out and she’s screwing me anyway.

            She’s riding me hard and I’m trying to get enough concentration to grab her ass so it will seem like I’m doing something. I lift my head from the pillow to balance myself and I see over this girl’s shoulder that Pinky is standing in the doorway watching. Seeing that I come instantly. Pinky smiles at me. Then walks out of the room. I roll over and pass out. 

            Do I even have to say it? Dreams. Water. Loss of control.

            Okay, I’m awake. No clue how long I’ve been out. What is that? That noise. I think my head is coated in wax or something. That noise is so familiar. It’s moaning, I think. Okay, standing. Unsteady. I think I can walk. And into my living room. 

            Pinky is slumped low on my couch, naked, legs thrown wide. Helen, also naked, is crouched in front of her with her face deep in Pinky’s crotch. Pinky doesn’t see me. Her eyes are closed. Her head is back and she sounds like she’s about to explode.

            I stand and watch her body buck and writhe with what must be pleasure. She grabs Helen’s head and seems to be pushing it harder into her crotch. She gives a series of yelps and then stands. Her eyes open and she sees me standing there.

            Oh. Hey. She sounds embarrassed.

            I thought you weren’t doing that anymore.

            Well, you know.

            Yeah. I know.

            Helen turns around and looks at me. She smiles. Hey stud. You two want to have a threesome?

            Damn. This bitch is the definition of slut. I really want her to leave so I can talk to Pinky.

            How about if you just suck my cock then get the fuck out.

            Okay.

            And she’s on her knees in front of me doing what I had suggested. I’m watching Pinky naked on the couch and it doesn’t take long before I’m squirting. Helen swallows, wipes her mouth on the back of her hand and goes to get dressed.

            I sit next to Pinky. Helen comes back in the room.

            See ya she says. Give me a call if you want to get laid some time.

            I give a little wave and she’s all the way gone. I should feel guilty, but I don’t. I put my hand on Pinky’s crotch and she says Are you gonna take me to dinner or what?

            Are you gonna put out?

            Nope.

            Okay. You want me to pick you up around eight tonight?

            No.

            Oh.

            Take a shower and get some sleep. 

            You leaving?

            No. When you get out of the shower I’ll be asleep. Let me sleep. When I wake up I’m going to wake you up and fuck you. Then we can figure out if we’re going out or not.

            Won’t Garret be pissed?

            No. I already told him that I was going to start dating you. He doesn’t give a fuck. He’s just gonna be pissed that we beat him to Helen.

            Oh.

            It won’t be too bad, though. She’s going over there now.

            Oh.

            So. Did you like her?

            Are you kidding me?

            Yes. I think so. Get in the shower.

            Okay.

            I do.

            Then we do.

            You don’t need the details. It was nice. It was hot (she is a dirty girl, you can believe me). It was sweet too, though.

            Now it’s after. We’re lying here naked and sweaty and she looks into my eyes.

            I want to go out with you.

            I like you, Pinky. I do.

            I know.

            But, the thing is, I’m gonna cheat on you. 

            I know.

            Then why do you want to go out?

            I don’t care who else you fuck. That’s what tonight was about. 

            Oh. Really?

            Yeah. And you don’t get to be pissed about who I fuck. 

            Oh. ‘kay.

            I’m still fucking Garret.

            Okay.

            And you can fuck Helen, or your little teenager or whoever.

            I told you about her?

            Yeah.

            Okay. If we’re fucking other people then what the hell are we doing with each other?

            Going out, dumbass.

            I just don’t get it.

            I want to be with you. I think you want to be with me. That isn’t about fucking. I mean, I’m gonna fuck you a lot. Fucking is good, but there’s no reason we can’t fuck other people. 

            Oh.

            So, you want to give this a try?

            Yes. I think I do.

            Good. Finger me for  a while.

            The weird thing is, I feel genuinely good about this. It can’t last, though. 

            I finger her till she comes. She offers to take care of me, but I decline. I’m starting to get a little sore and need a few hours to heal. So I get up to take a piss. On the way I go to check on Quetzal and he isn’t there. He seems to have left.

            I don’t want to talk now. Go away. Leave me alone.